Post-grad thoughts...

(Pre Script: please keep in mind that I graduated in May 2015... Even to this day it sometimes seems like I never even went to college. Maybe its because I now teach at my former high school, so that part of my life gets lost in my pre and post college life. Maybe its because I don't really talk to anyone I went to school with anymore... Whatever the reason, I still passionately believe that part of my identity will always belong to good ol' Conn Coll. I'm a Camel for life.)

This is a post from one of my favorite blogs, dripping with passion... I felt like Charity perfectly summed up how I felt about my college experience. The words in different colors represent my own thoughts. Even now, almost four years later, it still hasn't hit me that I'm a college graduate. I don't know if it ever will...

"I just finished the last of my schoolwork at Connecticut College. Yes, it is over. I am incapable of understanding or grasping this fact of life. My heart somehow won't let me. 

Wordsworth said that “there are some moments in time worth ages.” Today as I walked home from the library, I had one such age-worthy moments. Perfect swirling cherry blossoms danced around me as I slowly and carefully walked on the well-worn paths of my college experience, music in my ears, blood at the end of my veins, blushed cheeks and warm insides. This is my home, my soul sang. 

I am realizing, with joy, that it is exquisitely heart wrenching to leave this home. Conn is so weird and so wonderful. I have learned things here that I could have learned nowhere else. There was a part of me here even before I came after the hurricane almost four years ago. Despite all the hardship and the musings of regret that inundate my thoughts in these last days, I am proud to say that I think I have found that part of myself. And she’s beautiful. 

Even more than finding myself, I have figured out what kind of self I want to find and realized that I will be finding that self day by day forever… it doesn’t happen all at once. 

It’s the end of an era. At life-changing turns in life, we are always forced to wonder how we did. Was my Conn and college experience all it could be, all I could make it? No, not really at all. But I know it was spectacular in its own right, and I know that as I continue to grow up, I will see more and more clearly and eternally why I was here and what I have learned and what I have contributed. 

How did I get to this place in time? Yesterday I was crying my guts out because high school was over. Now, college?? James Taylor said, “the thing about time is that time isn’t really real.” Truth.

I happy to report that finals were enjoyable and satisfying. I learned a lot, I worked pretty hard, and then I handed it all in. It's over. And I feel at peace tonight in this little dorm room with my twinkle lights and my beating heart."